Sequences And Scenarios
Thursday, July 1st, 2010 | Uncategorized | No Comments
This morning, when David went in to Stella’s room to see about waking her up, her eyes were open but she was still lying there quietly, as if she perhaps had already been awake, but not for long. As soon as she saw him, she stood up on her bed and pointed across the room “Shoes!” — indicating an old pair of her shoes (too small now) which were sitting with some other things she’d outgrown recently. David got them down for her, and she pushed her feet into them. Then she pointed to her bathrobe, hanging at the corner of her bed. “Jacket!” She turned around with her arms held out wide so that he could help her into it. Then she climbed down from the bed and walked over to the stairs. “Down!”
I guess cute shoes and a monkey bathrobe are all a girl really needs in the morning.
Besides the cuteness, what makes the whole sequence interesting to me is how definite she was about each one of these steps. Immediately after awakening, she had her own ideas about exactly what she wanted to do. This isn’t her only sequence.
Yesterday, while we were all standing about in the kitchen, waiting for dinner to finish cooking…cleaning, snacking, yakkety-yakking, and so on, Stella tried to tell me something but almost immediately got very angry and frustrated. I tried to talk to her about it, but she couldn’t put the words together. It must be incredibly difficult and isolating to be so small and so filled with thoughts and desires that rely on the actions of others, yet unable to express yourself clearly. I asked her to show me what she meant — at that particular hour, this offer usually leads her to walk to the part of the kitchen containing whatever food item she wants, and then to point right at it (”Cracker!” “Milk!” “Banana!” “Cookie!”).
This time, she walked out of the kitchen. I followed her through the dining room and into the living room. She stood in front of the loveseat where I often sit in the evenings. “Sit down!” she said, so I did. Then she pointed at the blanket which was piled up at the end of the loveseat. “This!” I grabbed it, and pulled it over me. She helped me adjust it over myself. “Du-down!” she said, patting the pillow which sat in the corner of the loveseat. I laid back, and this seemed to satisfy her. Then she walked over to the book case, grabbed one of her books, and came back.
“Book!” she said. “Up!” “This!” And then she was settled into my lap, covered with a blanket, book in hand. What mother could resist reading her child a book under these circumstances?
What’s particularly amazing to me about this whole sequence of events is that she must have had a vision of the end state, the scenario she wanted to be in, and then traced backwards through the set of steps involved to get what she wanted. There have been plenty of times that she brought us an object to indicate an overall scenario (a diaper to get herself changed, the milk jug to get a bottle of it poured out for her) — but this is the first time she’s led one of us through such a complex scenario. It is so much fun to watch her mind unfolding.
Stella’s Easter Eggs
Friday, April 2nd, 2010 | Uncategorized | No Comments
This afternoon, we boiled up some eggs and sat down at the kitchen table to dye them. Stella has very fast hands….she immediately pulled an egg from the carton and cracked it against the side of the table.
Who can blame her? She is all about patterns, and she was imitating the same motion she’d recently seen her daddy make when he was cooking a big stack of French toast. We lost several eggs before we could explain the situation (it was hard not to laugh, she was so adept and so confident that she was doing the right thing) and position ourselves to intercept her motions.
The only solution was to never let hers be the only hand on the egg. That resolved, we set about dyeing.
Her favorite activity was coloring on the eggs with the clear wax crayon. It took her a while to decide it was okay to do, and since the crayon doesn’t leave a mark, she was not as enthusiastic at first.
By the time she decided she liked doing it, most of the eggs were finished. Some of the time I moved the egg while she held the crayon, which led to some interesting patterns, and David and I experimented with the crayon, multiple dips, partial dips, and dyeing a couple of brown eggs (which led to some nice colors, contrary to my expectations).
She would probably have done at least a dozen more if her dad and I hadn’t hogged so many! We had both forgotten how much fun it was…next year, I guess we will have to buy more eggs, and maybe invest in some more elaborate supplies than a Paas box bought at a 90% off clearance sale 5-odd years ago 
.
Mira Celeste — one week today
Saturday, March 27th, 2010 | Uncategorized | No Comments
Our sweet girl Mira is one week old today. We are just starting to learn about her, and she is slowly starting to be awake for enough minutes at a time that we can believe she is starting to learn about us.
She has a few similarities to Stella at the same age — a great sleeper who learned to nurse fairly quickly, and who only really cries when she is hungry or needs to be changed. Lucky, lucky mom and dad! She sleeps most of the time, likes to be swaddled, prefers to be in warm, calm arms and of course, likes to be fed on demand.
But in all kinds of subtle little ways, she is very different than Stella. She breathes so quietly you usually can’t hear her (I could always pick up the sound of Stella breathing, even in the hospital). Mira’s little sounds are more like squeaks and purrs (Stella squeaked a little, but she also had a little breathy sigh). Mira’s cries sound like a little kitten (in the same circumstances, Stella was even less inclined to cry…..but when she did, she would hold her breath and then scream with incredible volume).
Mira regained all of her birth weight by her first doctor appointment at 4 days old and had no jaundice that anyone could tell (Stella was slower to regain weight and did get a little jaundiced, although nothing she needed to be treated for). Mira was bright red at birth and has mellowed into more of an orange color (Stella was very pink), and she has jet-black hair (Stella had brown hair). Mira has a larger torso than Stella did, with shorter arms and legs. She weighed almost a pound more than Stella did at birth, for almost the same length (20 inches vs 19.5, although we’ve since been told those birth length measurements are not terribly accurate…at her 4-day appointment, Mira was measured at 19.5, and we don’t think she actually shrunk!). Mira’s little cord stump is healing more quickly than Stella’s did. Mira has almond-shaped eyes where Stella’s were always more rounded. Stella was puffier at birth, too, and had more baby acne/eczema issues initially than Mira has had. I think Stella has her daddy’s eyelashes and eyebrows, and Mira doesn’t. But she looks like she will have brown eyes, just like her sister and just like her daddy.
All in all, Mira is incredibly soft and sweet and kissable, and five of us are standing in line to give her kisses every few minutes (that’d be me, her daddy, her sister, her grandma, and the dog….). Stella is careful and thoughtful of her baby sister, anxious to make sure she wears a hat, going to look for her if she is out of the room — but she does like to pull off Mira’s little mittens.
We are so incredibly lucky to have two dear little girls in our lives.
All Our Little Rituals
Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 | Yammer | No Comments
The baby books will tell you that toddlers are very attached to their routines and rituals. What I observe most from Stella has been the development of patterns, which she can re-use and re-mix to help her feel more a part of what is going on in the house. Some of these are not toddler-specific, but rather outgrowths of our earlier patterns and habits as a family.
One of our first patterns involved when I nursed her. After I went back to work, it was particularly part of our routine to snuggle and nurse in the mornings when she woke up (around 530) until it was time for me to hit the ground running at 7:30. We also had a very reliable snuggle and nurse time as soon as we came in the door after work/babysitter. This eventually evolved into more of a snuggle time, as she nursed less and less, and is now more of a “together” time — in the mornings, she is likely to sleep later, at least until 730 if not 8 or longer if we can let her, but as soon as she is awake, she generally wants to be with mom, following me around (up? up? bath! bath! brush? trash!) as I follow my usual routine. While her dad is getting ready, we usually read one book before heading downstairs — we sit in a particular chair, and the door must be closed.
Our getting-home routine has evolved too, from nursing/snuggle time to face time, to now sit and read a book while we munch a quick snack time. I have tried skipping these little patterns in the morning or evening and even if she doesn’t complain, it just feels like something is missing from our day. I guess mommies need patterns too…if I don’t get my baby time in the morning, it’s a tough day indeed.
She and her dad have a goodnight routine (mama! mama! nigh-nigh!) — my part is to collect a kiss on each of my cheeks, give her a few of my own, and send her off with him so they can do their thing. I tell people that I get the morning shift and dad takes the night shift. It seems to work.
We have a drop-off routine of sorts, but nothing too serious — usually involving a few exchanged kisses and “bye-bye” with a wave. We have been very fortunate that she deals with separations well — sometimes there will be a rough day here or there, like the first day after a long holiday, but not many at all. I think it helps that she has a babysitter who adores her, and a house full of toys and friends to enjoy when she goes there.
We have shoe and sock patterns, we have jacket-hanging patterns. She likes to feed the dog and give her a treat when she comes in from being outside. She has a set of behaviors to tell us when she wants her diaper changed (gather supplies, array them on floor, lie down expectantly. Point at diaper and say ‘trash!’ if nothing seems to be happening…adults are so dim sometimes.)
The world must be so strange and unpredictable to a child, with so many things going on that she can barely understand, much less control or take part in. These little patterns give her some way to frame that whirling maelstrom of people, sounds, events, and objects. Knowing the steps involved in getting ready in the morning, pointing and narrating each one must give such a sense of mastery over the chaos of a world so much bigger than yourself. Knowing that if you say nigh-nigh, kiss mommy, and then climb the stairs with daddy, there will be pajamas and tooth-brushing and a bottle of milk, must be so comforting when you’re tired and barely able to control your feelings.
The books that talk about routines sometimes make it sound like a rigid minute-to-minute schedule or a sequence of inscrutable baseball signs. To a not-type-a person like myself, the idea of turning my life over to a strict scheduled routine was pretty alien. Bedtime is sometimes a little earlier, sometimes a little later. Nap time is at one time for the babysitter and dad, and much later (….unfortunately….) when mom is around. We haven’t done the pacifier thing, we don’t have a special blanket, she doesn’t have a dolly or stuffed animal she can’t sleep/ride/live without. Maybe some kids need that, maybe ours will need that someday. I hope that my own reluctance to assign some object to that role has not left her feeling rootless or insecure. She seems to be just fine.
For now, what she’s teaching us is that her patterns are about being part of the world and feeling like she’s doing the right things, that she has some understanding and control. It is a good thing this kid came with instructions, cuz the third-party manuals they sell at the store don’t help that much.
Happy Birthday Stella!
Monday, November 23rd, 2009 | Pictures, Yammer | No Comments
I just logged in and noticed that I never posted this entry from almost 4 months ago…Oops. Please pardon the time warp!!
Time just flies when you’re having fun. Stella is a year old already — which is just amazing. I can’t even believe that it’s been 3 months since I posted last….! We have a little family tradition that I plan a surprise trip for David’s birthday.
This year, we extended the tradition to include Stella’s birthday, and we took a trip stretching from her birthday (8/2) to David’s (8/8) and came home the 9th. My mom made plans to join us in Chicago for the month of August, so we were able to bring her on the trip as well.
This year’s mystery location was NOT the chicken dude ranch on top of a glacier I threatened them with….we went to Mackinac Island, which is a small resort island between the two pieces of Michigan, a 7-hour drive from Chicago. David likes islands, hiking, and the water in general, so this seemed like a great option.
One of the unique characteristics of Mackinac is that there are no cars on the island, but lots of very nice places to stay, eat, hike, bike, etc. Getting around requires a horse or horse-drawn carriage, a bike, or your own two feet. It made the whole environment incredibly relaxing to have no cars around.
We stayed in a two-bedroom condo unit with a view of the lake, a few miles from town — we arrived in a carriage with about 15 pieces of luggage, almost half of it food. One of the food items we hauled in was a cake mix and frosting — check youtube for a video of Stella enjoying her first piece of birthday cake with her daddy. We did a ton of walking, and we brought along a kid-packing backpack to haul the baby around. The backpack kept putting her to sleep, though, so most of the pix of her in the backpack are of a snoozing baby .
Mackinac has a trail around the island, which we managed to walk in pieces spread out over a couple of days (it’s 8 or 9 miles around, plus there’s the killer hike uphill and inland to our condo), toured Fort Mackinac, hung out by the water, and just generally relaxed for the week.
Stella loved the horses, usually enjoyed the rides everywhere, and she picked up a few new tricks — pointing to things all the time, and shaking her head ‘no’ very emphatically! To say no, she drops her chin into her neck and waggles her head back and forth….kinda like a horse, really…. Pop on over to the Flickr feed for more photos of our trip and our girl.
When we got home, she was eager to show us her next trick, which is to climb down stairs safely. She likes to do laps, up and down, up and down. If she holds my skirt or my hand, she can walk around a little bit, and she can stand for a long time, but no unsupported walking yet.
Youtube also has some videos of her trying to learn to walk. We figure she will figure that out soon as well, and then there will really be no stopping her in exploring the house and yard.
Stella at Nine Months — a day in the life
Thursday, May 7th, 2009 | Movies, Pictures, Stella's Diary | No Comments
Edited to insert photos!
1:30 am
Awake and hungry!
8:14 am
Still asleep and resisting the idea of waking up…. But a moment later….
8:15 am
Awake and ready to play.
I can’t really leave her unattended in bed, since she’s getting rather mobile! Time for a diaper change.
8:45 am
Stella waits patiently while I make some breakfast.
9:00 am
Playtime on the floor while Mommy gets some work done.
9:10 am
Never mind that, Stella wants breakfast too!
9:20 am
All done, back to playing.
10:30 am
After another snack, it is time for nap #1.
11:32 am
Awake and bright-eyed and playing with her blanket! Later, she flips over and begins scouring the floor for any loose fuzz or crumbs, dragging herself in circles around the living room. In the process, she found her wisk (wisks are the best baby toys ever) and proceeded to pound, bounce, and chew it.
12:15 pm
Time for Mom and Stella to have lunch together. Stella’s feast includes Herbed Chicken with Pasta (chunky puree), some cooked carrots from mom’s lunch, and cheerios. Note the toes on her right side — her foot is tucked up against the tray, perhaps to gain more leverage on those wily cheerios.
1:15 pm
After a diaper change, it’s time to play.
2:05 pm
A little snack before settling in for nap #2.
3:11 pm
Awake and rocking out in her bouncy chair.
3:25 pm
Back asleep…we’ll call it “nap #2 (continued)”.
4:15 pm
Still asleep….that’s my girl! Nap #2 is usually 2.5-3 hours or so, but lately her sleep/eat/play patterns have been changing, so I was starting to wonder if I was going to get much of a nap out of her this afternoon.
4:23 pm
Awake — for good this time I think. Time for her to drag and inchworm herself across the floor. I wonder if the cat knows he’s being stalked….
5:00 pm
Time for a break with mom, followed by some kitchen time. We’re making Brupcakes and Scones and a Caprese Pork Loin!
6:00 pm
Call dad, remind him to come home….no answer, leave a message.
6:40 pm
Call dad, remind him to come home….he says he will!
7:45 pm
Dad comes home — time for some dinner.
9:00 pm
More playtime! For whatever reason, it seems like right before bed is when Stella tries to learn some of her newest and very best tricks — she actually crawled 2 little real crawls before going back to her belly-crawl!
9:30 pm
Bath time! This baby is getting too big for the little tub we have, and she splashes water everywhere!
10:15 pm
Bed time for Stella — and a worn-out mommy falls asleep soon after.
3 New Videos
Wednesday, May 6th, 2009 | Movies | No Comments
Two Teeth
Tuesday, May 5th, 2009 | Uncategorized | No Comments
Stella has had teeth for a couple weeks, but it was hard to capture them photographically until now . Her love for chewing on paper has grown much more pronounced, and she also bites at my shirt when she’s hungry. She love-love-loves bananas and can eat a whole one at a sitting, feeding herself from her high chair. She’s also a big fan of cheerios, chicken, pot roast, bread, and pretty much anything else she can get her little gums on.
Getting So Big!
Saturday, April 4th, 2009 | Uncategorized | No Comments
Our little girl is past the 8-month mark now — hard to believe! She can pull herself up from a sit to a stand, and she’s working on a tooth (or at least, there’s a wicked sharp something sticking out of her gum lately). She’s sort of working on crawling, but I think she’d rather walk. That would be bad news. We’re trying to demonstrate crawling, but she thinks we’re pretty funny. She’d rather crawl all over us than crawl across the floor.
We had to get her a high chair and a toddler-size car seat. She could have ridden in the baby seat a little longer, but her jacket is too bulky and she doesn’t fit in it side-to-side any more. The car seat attaches to our stroller base, but it looks pretty strange.
She’s also too big for 9 month pajamas lately, and we’ll probably have to move to 12 month size for everything pretty soon. We hit an awesome rummage sale recently, and now we have a little stockpile of 12 month, 18 month, 24 month/2T, 3T, and 4T clothes. That probably sounds excessive, but it was all you could shove in a big garbage bag for $5….so we got two.
Another recent change — she holds on to me when I’m carrying her, with this satisfied/possessive look on her face, and she reaches out her arms and leans toward whoever she wants to pick her up. She’s staying true to her recent favorites: eating paper, flapping her hands, and waving crinkly toys. We started our second quarter of baby music classes today — the class is a little smaller than last quarter, and some of my favorite kids weren’t there. Maybe it’ll pick up next week.
A Day in the Life: #3
Wednesday, March 4th, 2009 | Stella's Diary | No Comments
12:00 am
Fall asleep snuggled up with mommy.
8:30 am
Wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed. Not demanding breakfast for some reason….
8:35 am
Time for a diaper change! Mom puts me in play clothes for a day at home.
9:00 am
Feed me NOW!
9:20 am
Help mom with e-mail.
10:00 am
Fall asleep in a sunbeam while sitting in the bouncy chair.
10:45 am
Awake and ready to play. New diaper, please!
10:50 am
Mom has her first phone meeting of the day. I’m quiet as a mouse!
12:15pm
Eat some peas. They’re the best. The kitty thinks so too. 
12:30pm
Another meeting for mom. Time to play!
1:00 pm
Time for lunch! Mom, my usual table, if you would?
1:10 pm
More playtime, please.
1:30 pm
Nap #2
2:15pm
Mom has meeting #3, and I’ve got lots of toys.
2:45pm
New diaper, please! Eating solid foods has some disadvantages…..
3:00pm
Mom has meeting #4, but I’m getting a little tired of playing with toys.
4:00pm
Try to remove tags from furniture. Get mad when they don’t come loose. Scream about it.
4:10pm
Blog.
4:12pm
Time for mom to do some weight lifting. 20 reps of a 16-pound baby lifted over head, which muscle group will that build? Giggle uncontrollably.
4:15pm
Roll around on floor.
4:20pm
Ohmigosh. Feed me NOW! What were you thinking?? Also, why do my eyes seem itchy? Maybe if I just close them for a minute while you feed me, I can….
4:28pm
Nap #3. Mom puts me under the blanket I got from Auntie Pam.
4:53pm
Still sleeping, despite the barky dog in the kitchen…..
5:15pm
Ok, I’m awake. Where’s mom? Where are my toys? How’d it get so dark in here?
5:18pm
Play with blanket.
5:25pm
Supervise while mom cleans up and makes a snack.
5:35pm
Play with newspaper. It’s yummy, but mom never lets me eat it! Comment on flickr photos. Mom is so behind posting new ones for me! Attack the laptop as vengeance. Pull on the cat until he runs away.
6:28pm
Time to eat!
6:40pm
Time to play! Chewing on mommy’s chin and bouncing up and down is so much fun.
7:05pm
Diaper change!
7:15pm
Play with mommy on the floor.
8:05pm
I need a hug!
8:06pm
Play with mommy on the floor.
8:20pm
Time to eat.
8:29pm
Asleeeeeeep…..
9:15pm
Daddy comes home. I wake up and join my mom and dad at the dinner table. More peas for me, please!
10:00pm
Hanging out with dad.
11:00pm
Time to get my pjs on! New diaper, too, please!
